67 Chuck Norris Jokes in Honor of America's Favorite Tough Guy

67 Chuck Norris Jokes in Honor of America’s Favorite Tough Guy

He is starred in movies together with Firewalker, Silent Rage, and Lacking in Motion. And all of us beloved his portrayal of Ranger Cordell Walker on the hit ’90s CBS sequence Walker: Texas Ranger. He is been largely retired from appearing for years, however Chuck Norris stays a popular culture icon, and what higher technique to have fun that standing than with your personal style of jokes? They first turned widespread within the ’00s, and now, the web is littered with Chuck Norris jokes, all celebrating the tough-guy persona the actor and martial artist wears so nicely. After all, some quips are higher than others, which is why we put collectively a listing of our very favorites. Learn on for among the funniest Norris-related jokes ever written.

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How Did Chuck Norris Jokes Begin?

Chuck Norris jokes first began popping up on-line again in 2005 throughout a number of One thing Terrible boards. Some say the inspiration behind them was his tendency to finish each encounter with a nasty man with a single roundhouse kick, others say it was discuss present host Conan O’Brien’s obsession with Walker: Texas Ranger that turned him right into a meme. All we are able to say for certain is that these jokes have change into web gold, and so they definitely aren’t going away anytime quickly.

The Finest Chuck Norris Jokes Ever Advised

chuck norris star on the hollywood walk of fame
Walter Cicchetti / Shutterstock
  1. Chuck Norris’ calendar goes from March 31 straight to April 2… as a result of no one fools Chuck Norris.
  2. Chuck Norris skipped college someday. That day has eternally since been referred to as Sunday.
  3. Chuck Norris beat the solar in a staring contest.
  4. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic desk as a result of Chuck Norris solely acknowledges the factor of shock.
  5. When Chuck Norris walks via airport safety, he makes them take off their footwear.
  6. When Chuck Norris makes use of the web he can skip adverts at any time when he needs; adverts should not capable of skip Chuck Norris.
  7. When Chuck Norris regarded into the abyss, the abyss regarded the opposite manner.
  8. Chuck Norris received an arm wrestling match with each arms tied behind his again.
  9. There aren’t any streets named after Chuck Norris as a result of nobody would ever cross Chuck Norris.
  10. When Chuck Norris drops a sandwich, it retains hanging within the air above the bottom.
  11. When Chuck Norris falls from an amazing top, the bottom has its life flash earlier than its eyes.
  12. Anyone requested Chuck Norris what number of push-ups he may do. Chuck Norris replied, “All of them.”
  13. The flu will get a Chuck Norris shot yearly.
  14. The Flash found the way to run on the pace of sunshine when he found Chuck Norris was on the lookout for him.
  15. Chuck Norris’ tears remedy most cancers. The issue is, he has by no means cried.
  16. When Chuck Norris crosses the street, automobiles look each methods.
  17. Chuck Norris’ heartbeat sounds just like the U.S. nationwide anthem.
  18. Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are comprised of actual cowboys.
  19. Chuck Norris died 20 years in the past. Demise simply hasn’t constructed up the braveness to inform him.
  20. Chuck Norris did not get a COVID-19 vaccine. COVID-19 obtained a Chuck Norris vaccine.
  21. Burger King made their slogan “Have it your manner” after Chuck Norris walked in and ordered a Huge Mac.
  22. Chuck Norris performed a recreation of rock, paper, scissors in opposition to his personal reflection—and received.
  23. In case you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Perpetually.
  24. When Chuck Norris enters a constructing that’s on fireplace, the Chuck Norris alarm rings.
  25. Chuck Norris hates ties, that is why when he wears a tie, it is not known as a tie. It is known as a win.

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The Finest Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick Jokes

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking a man in Missing in Action
MGM Studios
  1. To start with, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked nothing, and the universe was born.
  2. Since 1940, the 12 months Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick-related deaths have elevated by 13,000 %.
  3. Chuck Norris as soon as roundhouse-kicked a coal mine and turned it right into a diamond mine.
  4. The “roundhouse kick” identify was born when Chuck Norris kicked round a whole home.
  5. Chuck Norris appeared within the Road Fighter II online game however was eliminated by Beta Testers as a result of each button triggered him to do a roundhouse kick. When requested about this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That is no glitch.”
  6. Jack was nimble, Jack was fast, however Jack nonetheless could not dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.
  7. Chuck Norris does not strike gold, gold is the byproduct of Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicking rocks.
  8. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so highly effective, it may be seen from outer area by the bare eye.
  9. Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked the universe into existence. They known as it The Huge Bang.
  10. Chuck Norris as soon as roundhouse-kicked somebody so laborious that their ancestors felt it.
  11. Newton’s Third Legislation is flawed: Though it states that for every motion, there may be an equal and reverse response, there is no such thing as a pressure equal in response to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
  12. Chuck Norris as soon as roundhouse-kicked a horse within the chin. That’s how the giraffe was found.
  13. In case you ask Chuck Norris what time it’s, he all the time says, “Two seconds until.” After you ask, “Two seconds until what?” he roundhouse kicks you within the face.

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Hilarious Chuck Norris One-Liners

chuck norris on the red carpet
Jaguar PS / Shutterstock
  1. Regular individuals inform ghost tales on the campfire; ghosts inform Chuck Norris tales.
  2. The Swiss Military makes use of Chuck Norris Knives.
  3. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
  4. Chuck Norris thinks, subsequently the world is.
  5. The Useless Sea was alive earlier than Chuck Norris swam there.
  6. Chuck Norris misplaced his virginity earlier than his dad did.
  7. Chuck Norris’ GPS by no means tells him to show round.
  8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one chook.
  9. Chuck Norris mines Bitcoin with a pen and paper.
  10. When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get in form.
  11. Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
  12. Mission: Inconceivable was initially set in Chuck Norris’s home.
  13. Chuck Norris counted to infinity—3 times.
  14. Chuck Norris constructed the hospital he was born in.
  15. When Chuck Norris suggestions the waiter, the waiter falls down.
  16. Tornadoes are literally a results of Chuck Norris punching the wind.
  17. When Chuck Norris performs dodgeball, the balls dodge him.
  18. There isn’t a principle of evolution, only a listing of creatures Chuck Norris permits to dwell.
  19. Demise as soon as had a near-Chuck-Norris expertise.
  20. When Chuck Norris’ dad and mom had nightmares, they might come to his bed room.
  21. Chuck Norris discovered the final digit of pi.
  22. Chuck Norris’ trash throws itself out.
  23. Bigfoot remains to be hiding as a result of he as soon as noticed Chuck Norris strolling within the mountains.
  24. Chuck Norris does not pay taxes, taxes pay Chuck Norris.
  25. Chuck Norris performs Jenga with Stonehenge.
  26. Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
  27. Chuck Norris eats his meat so uncommon, he solely feasts on unicorns and dragons.
  28. When lightning strikes Chuck Norris, the sky will get a scar.
  29. The solar has to put on sun shades when Chuck Norris glances at it.


Was Chuck Norris an actual Texas Ranger?

Chuck Norris performed Ranger Cordell Walker on the CBS hit sequence Walker: Texas Ranger for a complete of 9 seasons. Although he’s a educated martial artist, he was not an official ranger on the time. Nonetheless, that modified in 2010 when Norris was named an honorary Texas Ranger by James R. Perry, the previous governor of Texas.

How robust is Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris has made a profession out of enjoying robust, uncompromising leads. He is starred alongside different actors who fall below the identical umbrella, together with Bruce Lee, Lee Marvin, and David Carradine. Earlier than he started appearing, Norris earned black belts in Karate, Tang Soo Do, Taekwondo, Judo, and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. He is even created his personal martial arts model referred to as Chun Kuk Do.

Wrapping Up

That is it for our listing of Chuck Norris jokes, however you’ll want to test again with us quickly for extra enjoyable. You too can join our publication so you do not miss out on what’s coming subsequent!

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